Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
"I`ll drink to that." -me to my next drink
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance