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I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone