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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.