Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%