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If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....