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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I wish I had a friend like me
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
That moment when being uncool, is cool