Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Turns out the plastic bag they put in your ice bucket at a hotel isn`t for to-go bacon from the breakfast buffet.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!