Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.