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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I am the bestest at the English language...
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.