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"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."