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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
I should come with a warning label.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...