Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
"It`s the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.