Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow ... Just sayin
I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.