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I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.