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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.