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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.