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I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.