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Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Care less and you’ll stress less.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
This patience thing takes forever.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
I`m only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.