Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m at my most judgmental when standing behind someone in a buffet line.
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.