Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!