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The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the “I’m sick” voice.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......