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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors