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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV