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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, “I think this one is safe” and see if they’ll take it from your hand.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
What’s the answer to this question?
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.