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I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.