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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)