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Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
You can`t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...