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I just called. To say. I texted you.
Watching a funny movie after watching a scary one too try to reduce the risk of nightmares.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.