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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
I woke up this morning with a glass of water on my bedside table with a note saying “for hungover me” I drank it and it was vodka. Drunk me can be such an asshole!
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
I`ve given up on giving up.