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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
When your girlfriend or wife says "lol have fun", do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly