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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn`t reach the cookies in the cupboard.
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.