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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today.......i felt like that bitch was seeing someone else.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
Life`s short ... Drink fast
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.