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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
Been there, done that. allegedly
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.