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Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
My wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.