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Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Saw my ex with another guy at a bar last night. So I ordered a beer, took a few sips, walked over to their table, gave her date the rest of my drink and walked away... #leftovers
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
I dont pay for cabs if I’m too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.