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Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
A court date is still technically a date, right?
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
I`m only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.