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In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
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Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.