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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
When I was a boy, Mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I would get 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, some cheese and 6 eggs. You can`t do that now, to many damn security cameras!
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.