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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
The sooner you fall behind the more time youΒ΄ll have to catch up.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
My Retirement Plan hinges on having at least one successful kid.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.