Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
Okay so the pregnant woman in the library didn`t get my `overdue` joke.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing Domino`s."
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.