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If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Iām not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!