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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
I`m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee, I should be OK
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?