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Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!