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That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you’re moving.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo, because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium