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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.