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I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!