Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I`m checking Facebook and not taking pictures.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.