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I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.