Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.