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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Please do not read this.
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
50 years ago you had to get really f*cking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car