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That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I was born at a very early age.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?