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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage