Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it.
Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower?
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.