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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
Why isn`t there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.