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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
My wife didn`t appreciate me pointing out that my alcoholism began around the time that we first started dating.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative