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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
Diet plan: make friends fatter
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.