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If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Your dating profile should be like house listings. 1. Sq. footage 2. Date built 3. # of previous owners? 4. Finished basement?
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work